Have you ever heard this question before? Are you willing to…?

Most likely referring to something people are expecting you to do, or not do. Sometimes, you have not even thought that willingness had anything to do with the matter in question. What if willingness has everything to do with how you show up in life?

If we look at the picture (my dog and my chickens), we could come up with various questions, such as:

Question to the dog: Are you willing to wait?
Second question to the dog: Are you willing not to eat the chicken?
Third question to the dog: Are you willing to protect the chicken?
Question to the chicken: Are you willing to trust the dog won’t eat you?

It sounds silly, right? Animals can’t make such conscious choices unless they are trained to respond that way, and if we leave them to their instincts, you probably know the answer to these questions. While this may seem a silly exercise, it illustrates something very well-known to us humans, behaviorally. It raises a critical point if one desires accountability and reinvention as outcomes for anything they do.

Do you recall situations when you unwillingly acted upon? What happened then? Possibly, did it feel like an awful experience with awful results? Perhaps something triggered a mindset shift from an unwilling to a willing state in you or another person? What would you do differently next time around?

While we are wired differently and have diverse backgrounds and experiences, we all relate to situations in which we have experienced positive thinking and feelings when engaged in something purposeful or as a consequence of others’ joyful disposition to contribute. Sometimes, the world wants us to believe that we should only engage when we feel happy or intentional. Is that really so? I challenge that all the time. Based on my own experience and listening to clients’ experiences, we know that in reality, regardless of whether one is driven by joy or not, the opportunities and gifts of any experience will eventually come. Your mindset and attitude in that particular situation and afterward will have a significant impact on the consequences and on how you remember it. Willingness has everything to do with it.

The willingness to accept reality. We can’t ignore reality forever. Eventually, it will challenge us, and if ignored, potentially lead to a breaking point. No one wants to suffer for days, months, or sometimes years, but not choosing to face reality is like selecting a chronic pain over a wound from a fall. By accepting, a shift occurs in our brain as we acknowledge that we are also part of this reality, and ownership takes hold. Are you willing to take responsibility for your part in this reality?
The willingness to acknowledge that every human is imperfect (including you) and decide that a change is necessary - whether in your way of thinking, acting, or being. Are you ready to change?
The willingness to act upon by choosing one doable first step to take. Sometimes a freeze happens when one believes there is nothing that could be done to change the situation. Challenging these types of crystallized assumptions is crucial to moving forward. You may find yourself motivated to take a first step, but then you choose one step that is too big, too complicated, too much. As a result, things don’t work well, and the justification, blaming, shaming, and disempowerment follow. There is always something you can do, so don’t get into the trap of “go big”. Choose a simple step. Sometimes, a simple thought: “I will do it, even if I feel like not doing it”. Sometimes, replacing a bad habit with a flourishing one (always substitute a habit, don’t try to stop without a more positive one to replace it). Sometimes, just choosing to do something slightly different or in a different way. You need a small step to take you out of the inertia. Are you willing to choose differently?

Okay… at this point, you may be able to see how these three steps could potentially improve “accountability”, but you also heard me saying “reinvention”. Yes, I did say accountability and reinvention flourishing. Anytime a human being faces a challenging situation, whether easy or hard to overcome, this person faces the dilemma of either ignoring that they had a part in it (victimization, narcissism, arrogance, pride, various names and forms…) or choosing to humbly recognize that they had a part in it and could do something different in future similar situations. A-ha! This is the concept of learning!

Now, how do we jump from learning to reinvention?

When I say ‘reinvention,’ think of times when numerous complex events prompted you to reassess various aspects of your life. Same concept, same steps, but choosing to focus on one area at a time - choose the most important and positively impactful to you. While you are laser-sharp in focus, everything else will start falling into place, and reality shifts to a new reality, with gifts and opportunities presenting new choices on your path.

Now what? What are you willing to do?

And remember:

Be wonderful,